Ten Ways to Make Satan Happy

1.  Never read your Bible.  But if you do, just read the parts that make you feel better. 
2.  Ignore any pokes from the Holy Spirit (you didn’t do anything wrong).  Pretty soon He’ll leave you alone.
3.  Remember that you need to cultivate your interests when you want to do so.  Don’t bother consulting with anyone about your decisions.
4.  You are a good woman!  When something comes into your mind it is good advice – share it freely with others.  You have a lot of wisdom to offer.
5.  Get a makeover!  Go to the mall and have your make-up redone – buy a new outfit (use the tithe money if need be). You deserve it!  You are beautiful – show the world (But, never EVER spend time cultivating inner beauty). 
6.  Go to church faithfully (in your new fabulous look!), but don’t feel like you need to get involved.  There are plenty of volunteers!  Don’t worry about being super Christian – you are too tender hearted. 
7.  Sing along with the congregation but don’t think about what you are singing.  The important thing is that you are encouraging others by your participation.  And by no means memorize those songs … that would be too much work for you.  (Please don’t pay any attention to joyful Jane over there singing out from her heart!)
8.  Don’t listen to the news.  You don’t want to know the terrible things that are going on in the world! (It might cause you to get concerned about your soul and get busy doing something for God, and we can’t have that happen, can we!)
9.  Only think the best of others if they deserve it.  If you think you know what they are thinking, or what their intentions are, you are probably right.  Serve others piously – it will show people just what a good person you are.
10. Never talk to your neighbors about Jesus or His gospel specifically – just hint at it.  You don’t want to offend anyone.
P.S.  If you choose to get involved, busyness in ministry can be a very fulfilling activity – you are doing good for people! (It is much more fulfilling that having an “intimate relationship” with God … whatever that is.)   

“Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.  Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.    Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.” James 4:7-8,10 NKJV
Note:  I do not believe that improving your appearance is evil … it is the motive behind it that needs to be checked. :)

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