The clock was ticking. One joyous hour had passed since my youngest son’s birth. The process had been simpler than last time, and I was gratefully munching on delicious food. While a nurse checked on me, Tim surprised me by asking her, “What is that dripping sound?” The nurse replied casually, “Oh, it’s probably just something in the bathroom.” Nope. It was me.
Suddenly I felt like an actress in a dramatic movie:
- In one corner, my extremely concerned husband was talking with a doctor
- Our room was suddenly filled with people, my hospital bed surrounded by worried nurses
- The anesthesiologist (whom I had expected never to see again) was poised, ready to prepare me for surgery
Someone got down close to me and explained that I may need to have an emergency hysterectomy. I only remember saying, “I don’t want to die.” Praying that I would live to continue to be Tim’s wife and Bugga and Booga’s mommy, they pushed me down the hallway toward surgery. I was lifted onto a table. Then it all went black.
I woke up gasping for breath and shaking uncontrollably. Tim and our pastor were standing next to me. As the symptoms lessened, I was relieved to learn I had only needed a D&C (a surgical procedure to clear out stubborn placenta that was causing me to hemorrhage). My uterus was in tact, but, my blood count was terribly low – less than half of normal.
That evening, when my Dad asked about what I had been through, I was startled by my sharp reply: “I don’t want to talk about it!” My heart had been stretched further than it ever had been before. All I could do was think about my too-close-for-comfort brush with death and thank God for getting me through.
A medical doctor referred me to a local Christian counselor. She was a good listener, kind, and pointed me to God’s sovereignty. Practically she suggested that whenever my thoughts started capsizing, I should immediately stop whatever I’m doing and walk into another room, completely changing my activity. This diversion helped, but I needed something more powerful. I desperately sought the strength of my Counselor.
I cried out to God and asked Him to pull me out of this pit of death. I thought often of Psalm 40 and waited for Him to pull me out of the miry clay and set my feet on a rock and establish my goings. I sensed that God wanted me to be specific in my prayers, so I asked Him to turn my head clock-ward at eleven minutes after anything except nine: 2:11, 5:11, 7:11. And I promised Him that every time I would see an “11” I would say, out loud, “God is faithful! Thank You, God!”
Almost immediately, I kid you not, from that time forward nearly every time I looked at a clock I was rewarded with seeing 2:11, 5:11, 7:11, 12:11, and so forth. For years I had known God’s power through His word and His work in my life. But with this recent gift, I knew the power of God in a very personal way, and I could see the tender warmth of the Son burning off the fog of fear. My toxic thoughts changed to praise and I poured out, “God is faithful! Thank You, God!” It was particularly delightful when He would cause me to look up and see 11:11 – double duty praise and thankfulness!!
After about a year, my health improved and I regained strength. God had never left my side, and He became dearer than ever before.
|With Joshua (2 weeks old) at Pikes Peak State Park|
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in His temple. For in the time of trouble He shall hide me in His pavilion; in the secret place of His tabernacle He shall hide me; He shall set me high upon a rock.”
Whatever it is – from your past or in your present, it isn’t too big for God. He can work in seemingly small ways to remind us of His huge faithfulness. Have you asked Him to show you His light?
If you have time, here is an amazing account of a Bible recovered after 9-11-01.
P.S. This morning (9-11-14) I looked to see what time it was, and the clock read 11:11 – “God is still faithful, thank You, God … God is still faithful, thank You God.”
Oh Susan, that is so special! Thank you for telling me about God’s tender loving care through those tests of faith! You are a blessing. 🙂
I had a similar experience of God’s graciousness to me, reminding me of His love and presence when I really needed it. Awaiting our stillborn son’s funeral, I went outside to think for a moment, and I witnessed a beautiful picture of sun rays shining from between dark clouds. I felt like God was telling me, “I am with you.” I felt encouraged. About two weeks later, we had a memorial service in another state for my side of the family to attend. That same day, I saw a similar view of sun rays piercing the darkness. It was amazing to me.
It continues! I became pregnant with our next child about a year later. I battled fear over losing this one, too, but God poured faith into me every time I read Psalm 33. Our child’s due date was January 1st, and I had a one-a-day calendar with scenic pictures on one side of the rip-off page and the day’s date on the other. As I checked through the month of December for that year, two dates had pictures of sun rays filtering through clouds. I thought, “It would be so cool if this baby was born on one of those days!” And she was!
Now, every time I see sun rays peeking through the clouds, I say to everyone around, “God is with us!”
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